Guys, what are the two worst words you could hear out of your girlfriends mouth? "I'm pregnant," were the two words I received on Sunday night. I had just gotten back to my apartment from my trip to my home town. I packed everything away and checked my phone. Three missed calls were on my phone. Turns out they were all from my lady, no doubt, having a terrible night because she is missing me and just wants to talk to me. This was not the reason. I could tell right away. There was a tremble in her voice, "Are you sitting down?" At the very instant, I may have been on the 9th floor, but my stomach sank all the way to the basement.
How do you react to these two words? I can assure you that I didn't say a single word for at least a good five minutes. Then when my brain finally caught up with my ears I began asking questions.
"How did this happen?"
"Are you sure?"
"What are we going to do?"
Most of these questions didn't matter or I already knew the answer. I just needed to say something. The tone of my lady's voice made my heart want to join my stomach in the basement. She sounded so scared. I sounded so scared. She informed me that she was going to the doc the next day and make sure that this is the real deal; Possibly a "ray of hope". The chance of those home pregnancy tests being wrong was about the same chance we had of getting pregnant. So I thought our chances were pretty good!
Monday. Oh Monday. My stomach came rushing back up to the 9th floor while I was "sleeping". I had this constant feeling of wanting to throw up. I skipped breakfast. When I got to work a major issue arose and I got stolen from my cube and thrown into a room with co-workers until we figured out a solution. My way of trying to find a solution was focusing on not throwing up... staring at my phone... and googling stuff about pregnancy. I had a couple of pieces of beef jerky at lunch to sustain me. BZZZZ! My phone goes off. And quicker than anyone noticed I answered my phone and ninja'd out of that room.
This time her voice sounded more stable and confident. She also said for the first time, "You're going to be a dad." Again, more words to stump me. I had no idea what to say. She also informed me that one of her good friends accompanied her to the doctors office. I was thankful that someone went with her because I can only image what that would be like alone. I wish I was there for her so I could have held her hand, or kissed her on the cheek, or anything to let her know that she wasn't alone. I skipped supper.
On Tuesday, she said she couldn't keep it a secret from her mom. Mom's do know best, and to be honest, the signs were right in front of all of our faces. So she said she wanted to tell her mom that night. I told her to go for it if she couldn't wait until I got there the next weekend. So she told her mom.
I have yet to know what this feels like, but having your lil girl say that to you, has got to snap that little figurative stick in your mind that holds everything together. Needless to say, her hours of lecturing was an expected result of this situation. She had told me some key points of this lecture over the phone and I had wished, more than anything, that I was there. Her voice was crackling from trying to keep from bursting out into tears. I wish I was there so I could have held her hand while we told her.
The rest of the week we slowly told our close friends. As opposed to the reaction she got from her mom, our friends were very happy to hear the news. I also told my team at work (mainly because I wanted to explain myself for being not mentally there all week). My first friend I told was Denny. Denny has been there for me in the past many a time, and I was there for him many a time. He was also the first because he went through a similar situation a couple years ago. I want to thank him again for all the advice and support he has given me in this past week, and the advice and support I am sure he will give in the coming months.
Finally, last weekend happened. This was the weekend that I went to my home town to tell everyone that needed to be told in person. This included her dad, my parents, and my grandma. I finally got to my hometown after the longest 4 hour drive of my life. I went directly to the florist and picked up a single rose for the mother to be. I felt so bad for her all week; being alone. I wanted to give her a little something to let her know that I am in for the long haul and be by her side as much as I could. After I got the rose, I headed to our friend's place (where she was at). I walked through that door and saw her beautiful smile. This was the first time seeing her knowing what I know now. This is when I noticed her lil tummy. I sat down next to her standing up and lifted up her shirt so her tummy was sticking out. I got to say hi to our baby for the first time, and gave him or her a kiss.
She said with a big smile on her face. This was by far the best part of my weekend, because after that night we had to tell everyone. We did our rounds on Saturday night. First her dad, then my parents, then my grandma (the next day). All these conversations are private so I wont get into them. You can only image what was said though. To sum it all up there was a lot of disappointment that we did things in the "wrong order". It was a very humbling weekend.
We did get some constructive conversation out of our talks and now we have a laundry list of things to take care of within the next 8 months or so. So, if everything goes well, I'm going to be a daddy. We are always accepting of prayers and support, and we want to thank everyone for all the support that we have already received and support that we will receive. We want to thank our parents for being accepting and supportive of this. I also want to say to my lady: I love you, and I will be by your side as much as I can. I will love our child just as much and try to be as good of a father as mine is.
I'm not one to get all sappy on you guys, but then again, I have never been expecting before. I am sure the content of this blog will be leaning on baby stuff now, as opposed to nerdy stuff as I originally thought. With that said, I want to pose this question again: What are the two worst words you could hear out of your girlfriends mouth? In my expiriences, I dont think it is "I'm pregnant". I have been getting happier and more excited as each day passes. I am still scared, but knowing that I have a wonderful lady, great parents, and supportive friends... I can relax a little. :)